"i want to tell you a little story 'cause it makes me warm inside.
it's about some friends growing up, and all the things they tried
i'm not talking about staple shit, they went for something more
i guess it was too much dreaming, too much to hope for

one day something funny happened, but it scared the shit out of me
theyir heads went in different directions, and their friendship ceased to be"


so. i bought some cd's this week (see the post below...). some stuff that i used to have, some stuff that i always wanted. while i was toiling away at work this week, entering endless amounts of data into a database, i decided to forego the speakers attached to the computer, and use my headphones so i wouldn't annoy ed, my office neighbor. [incidentally, it'd have been hard to annoy ed, a former college professor, now the park's gis specialist, who was rocking out to aerosmith or the allman brothers or some similar 70's rock with headphones of his own this week]

so. listening to this stuff brought back some memories. memories of being a punk rocker, living from one show to the next, hanging out with friends, daily trips to the record store to get the newest 7" or lp. driving cross-country to see a band i'd seen hundreds of times, but that never let me down. thinking about all of that, and thinking about how things have changed. about how then, i was appaled at people, friends, anyone drinking or getting high. about how much straight edge was a part of my life - more than a part, it was my life. about how all of my friends (ok, most of my friends) "grew out" of straight edge, about how i too decided that i wanted to drink again. why does this matter? it doesn't. it was just reminiscence. i've never really liked change. progression is good, change for the sake of change however, i didn't like (and still don't).

i thought about how none of my friends talk to each other anymore. after years of putting up with each other, and talking shit behind each others backs, they finally grew up and decided to not be friends. i'm not sure which is worse. i get along with just about anyone. there are very few people i dislike. and it's odd when people who were such good friends just don't talk anymore.

does any of this make sense? nope. it's just the random thoughts that run through my head.

"do you remember when? yeah. well so do i. we call those the salad days.
i call it a lie. whaat a fuckin' lie."